well it's summer now.. a long way from spring break. i'm writing from my dad's big leather armchair in his study as the summer sun sets after a heavy rain shower outside. it's beautiful.
i just spent 20 minutes trying to come up with something to write and my brain is just too scattered.. i'm missing a man i hardly know. i spent a half hour the other day checking my phone constantly, hoping that he'd call me when i know he doesn't have my number. i don't know what's wrong with me and i can't tell if this is God trying to get my attention on him or just my imagination running wild. but i miss him. and i have no control over the situation with him. he's in town right now and hasn't tried to get in touch with me... even though he said he would. God's got it, God's got it.. whatever He has for me is better than anything i could manage to squeeze out of the situation, so i'm leaving it be. but man it's a lesson in self control.. i hate this. i haven't felt this way about a guy in a long time. i have to let it be.. i think i might go on a drive.. it is a nice night after all!
can this be me?
